I think it is time to rant about how much I hate the Klitschko brothers. The two have single handedly sapped the life from boxing’s premiere division, the heavyweights. With a methodical, plodding style widely regarded as boring, the brothers have had the heavyweight division in a stranglehold for nearly a decade. Granted the division is in a down moment in terms of talent, which is why it pisses me off even more when the boxing media tries and sells the next challenge to the Ukrainian robots.
Really on the down is the state of the heavyweights in the United States, where there is a very small talent pool at this time. Face it, the heavyweight class has been dominated by Europeans, and more specifically by Eastern Europeans in the first decade of the 21st century. Then this year, in 2012, a pair of European names have started to surface with hype around them.
Finland’s Robert Helenius and the UK’s Tyson Fury. Both have worked their records up to 17-0 and both are over six foot seven inches, leading to the speculation that being as tall as the Klitschko’s means you have a legitimate shot at beating them. My question is simple – who in the world is doing a real honest to goodness, clinical talent assessment? Because if Fury and Helenius are the future of the division, then it is time to put the heavyweights on the shelf for a few years. I have watched several of Helenius and Fury’s fights, including watching Helenius win several alphabet soup titles with a split decision victory over Derek Chisora earlier today.
Political correctedness aside, neither has a chance at the Klitschko’s ever. Both are tall, out of shape plodders. Watching them fight reminds me of watching the kids in the special ed class fight when I was in grammar school. Because they are tall, obviously they are the kids in the sixth grade who should be in ninth, having been left back three times. Fury did a little better with Chisora in their match than Helenius did tonight, but Chisora looks more and more like this era’s Frank Bruno than ever.
I was in a store earlier today, to buy a toaster. The item I wanted was on the top shelf of the aisle 6, out of my five foot 9 inch reach. I couldn’t help but think it would have been a good time for Tyson Fury to make himself useful. At six foot eight, he could easily reach my toaster!
So the future looks bleak for the heavyweight divisions, as when the Klitschko’s retire, we will be left with a distinctively low caliber of talent for the forseeable future. So much for boxing’s premiere division.